The Voice Behind the Blog

Now that you have had a chance to see what my mission is for this blog, I feel that it would help to tell you a little bit about my story.  Growing up I was extremely active.  I was on competitive traveling teams for soccer and basketball as well as dance.  When I wasn’t at one of those activities I spent my time running, working out, or finding some sport or activity to participate in just for fun.  I was so fortunate to never have any notable injuries during this time.  I can’t remember hardly ever having to sit out of a practice or game.  I could probably count on one hand the number of times that happened in 15 years of competitive sports.  However, as my final season of high school soccer was coming to a close my athletic career would take a turn for the worse and be greatly altered. 

I was diagnosed with a stress fracture in my right shin.  At the time I didn’t realize the magnitude that this injury would have on defining how my soccer career would continue from that point on.  I was forced to sit out most of my senior season of soccer due to the stress fracture and was only able to play in the “big games.”  Even in those games that I did play it was through incredible pain and not under the circumstances that I would have wanted my senior season to be.  One of the hardest parts was watching my fellow seniors, which I had played with from the beginning, suit up for our senior night game while I sat on the sideline cheering them on.  I wanted so desperately to share that special moment with my friends because I knew that our time playing together was going to be coming to an end soon. 

When the season finally came to a close the realization that all the fun times that I had in high school and club sports was over.  It was time for me to pack my bags and take my soccer career on a new journey to play at the University of Northern Iowa.  The thought of leaving a soccer environment that was so comfortable and basically my home for a majority of my life, to go play at the Division I level was frightening.  I was even more nervous because I wasn’t healthy and I wouldn’t be able to attack the summer training the way I wanted to.  As if the transition to college athletics wasn’t already complicated and scary, throwing in a nagging stress fracture was not part of my plan. 

I quickly realized that I had to accept the fact that I only had one option and that was to try and do what I could to heal my shin and find alternative ways to get my conditioning done.  The whole summer I religiously went to physical therapy and then went on my own to get my cardio in by biking, swimming, and water running.  I was going to do everything in my power to get healthy so that I could go into my first collegiate soccer season at the top of my game.  It was not an easy road.  I was always thinking about what my teammates were doing compared to what I was doing and I felt that nothing I did was quite enough.  I was bombarded with the thoughts that I was going to be way behind everyone and what my teammates and coaches would think of me.  What it all came down to was that I just had to keep grinding away and taking all the necessary steps to get me back to soccer.  I needed to worry about myself and not focus on what others were doing. 

By the end of the summer my shin was feeling great I hadn’t had pain for several weeks, so I was all ready to start conditioning and practicing with my team during preseason.  About a day or two into two-a-days my worst fear would happen.  The piercing pain in my shin would come back to pay a visit and this time wouldn’t leave.  The thought of all my hard work over the summer being wasted was devastating.  At the first sign of the shin pain coming back my athletic trainer and I started an alternative training program as well as physical therapy to try and get through the brutal two-a-days.  Although it was a bumpy road I made it out of preseason and into the regular season.  As the frequency and intensity of training would start to level out during competition season the severity of my shin pain would dull down a bit.  By the end of the season it was finally feeling decent. 

With my first season of college soccer under my belt and my shin seeming to be under control I was excited to start our off season conditioning.  I was finally able to go out and run and do all the conditioning with the team.  Yet again only a couple weeks into my training the stabbing pain in my shin would come back once again.  Then things would continue to go downhill from there.  One wintery day in January, I was walking to 8am class when all of a sudden my foot started to slip, I felt a crack and before I knew it I was sitting on the ground knowing that I was not going to be getting good news.  My athletic trainer came and picked me up to take me to the doctor.  She tried to reassure that it was just an ankle sprain, but I knew deep down that it was broken. 

I got the results back from the x-ray and found out that I suffered a spiral fracture to my fibula (on the same leg that I had the stress fracture).  To make matters even worse the doctor said that I was going to need surgery to repair it.  I could not believe what I was hearing.  Here I am on my first day of the spring soccer season and I find out that I am going to be out for the entire season.  I could never have imagined myself in that position because I had never really been injured let alone experienced surgery.  When the surgery was completed I had a plate and five screws in my ankle and a long rehab process ahead of me.  The one good thing that we thought could come out of this was that the stress fracture in my shin would get the time off that it needed because I was confined to crutches and a boot for months. 

I made it through the rehab process and was released to ease back into the running and conditioning program by the time summer rolled around.  After a crazy freshmen year of injuries I was excited to work hard over the summer so that I could come back for my sophomore year and show everyone how I could play at my best.  The nasty thing about nagging injuries is that they don’t go away.  I bet you can guess what happened next.  My shin pain came back in full force.  I was really confused and bummed out when this happened because I thought for sure after all the hard work that I put in during the spring rehabbing from surgery and giving my shin several months of rest I was finally going to be good to go.  Once again I was forced to spend my summer going to physical therapy and doing all low impact training.  I was starting to think that I would never be completely healthy and able to play at the level I wanted to. 

I went into my sophomore year dragging my shin pain with me.  I kept playing throughout the season as the pain continued to get stronger and more frequent.  It got to the point where I was wearing a boot during the day and took it off to play and practice.  Eventually, it got to the point where my entire shin and the ankle that I had surgery on were causing me constant severe pain.  The last couple weeks of the season I finally had to call it quits because I could no longer run or cut and change direction.  I had lost a great deal of the range of motion of my ankle and I couldn’t walk around the house with out getting stabbing pain up my shin. 

Once again I visited the doctor where I found out that I needed to have another surgery to remove the plate and screws in my ankle because they were now causing more problems than they were solving.  I attacked the rehab process once again eager to play my spring season and finally prove my playing potential.  I was fortunately able to make it through the spring season with minor pain in my shin.  By this point I was used to the pain and the idea of playing through it was something I accepted. 

During this past summer my physical therapist shared with us information about a treatment that he thought could help heal my shin.  We hadn’t found anything that worked in solving this issue yet, so we thought we would go check it out.  I ended up receiving the injection treatment in my leg and was hopeful and excited that I may have finally found a solution to a 2-½ yearlong chronic shin pain.   This year was finally going to be my year to shine.  I was going to be able to play at the level that I knew I could play at and get to play the way that I knew I could play without anything holding me back.  Then the unimaginable happened. 

I found out that during the first week of preseason I tore the labrum in my left hip.  I am still in shock at the new reality that I am facing.   For the first time in my college career I am missing a competition season.  This news came as a huge blow to me, especially because a labral tear in the hip is just something that doesn’t happen very often.  It turns out I need surgery to repair it and I will be having the surgery in a few weeks.  I know that I am about to experience the toughest and longest rehab process I have been through yet, but I feel that I can come out of all of this as a stronger player and person. 

Sometimes I just wonder why me?  How could I go all of my life until the age of 18 practically injury free to having a surgery every year that I have been in college.  It makes me wonder if I should continue playing soccer or if my body is trying to tell me otherwise.  Whatever message my body is trying to send me, it is hard to comprehend when my heart tells me don’t ever give up on the sport you love, keep playing